They are little things, but everyone has the right to completely change someone’s day, including yours.
Do you want to make a great difference in someone’s life? Here are things you ought to say every day to family members, employees, coworkers, friends and all those you care for:
“I’m thinking the same thing”
You are the boss, but that does not mean that you are elegant, smarter, sensible and more perceptive than everyone else. Back up your words and decisions. Validate your statements with good reasons. Justify with sense, not from position or power.
When you take time to justify and explain your decisions, opens those decisions up to conversation and condemnation, it also adds perfection to your decisions.
Authority may make you “right”, but cooperation makes everyone right – and it unites all together.
“I was wrong”
Once I have made a plan of transferring staff to the various changes in the production line open and I think it’s marvelous to improve overall performance. While the staff finds this plan significantly inconvenient, but it seemed worth of costs. Well, the plan I made, on paper was perfect. But practically, it wasn’t.
Well, after a couple of weeks, when I met staff I said, “I know you didn’t think this would work, and you were right. I was wrong. Let’s move you back to your original shift. ”
I felt very bad and stupid. I was thinking that I had lost the value and respect if they had for me. I felt poor.
When I met an employee, I came to know that I was wrong about this thing too, as he said, “I did not really know you, but the truth you were keen to confess that you were wrong told me all I needed to know.”
When you’re wrong, admit it and just say that you are wrong. You will not lose value or respect, but you will gain it.
“That was awesome”
Nobody gets as much appreciation. Nobody. Choose someone, choose anyone – who did something great and say, “Wow! That was awesome how you …”
And feel free to go back in time. Saying “Earlier, I was thinking about how you handled that employee issue previous month…” can make just as positive an impact today as it would have then. (It could even make a bigger impact, because it shows you still remember what happened last month, and you still think about it.)
Appreciation or praise is a gift that costs the giver nothing, but is precious to the recipient. So start praising people around you. And the people around you will love you for it–and you will like yourself a little better, as well.
Think of the time you have given a gift and the receiver looked uncomfortable or embarrassed. Their response took a bit of fun for you, right?
The same thing can turn out when you are thanked or praised or complemented. Do not ruin the fun for the moment or the other person. Heart may make you feel uncomfortable and anxious, but all you need to do here is, make eye contact and say, “Thank you.” Or eye contact and say, “You are welcome. I was happy to do it.”
Do not let the thank-you, congratulations or praise everything about you. Do it for the other person, too.
“Can you help me?”
When you need help, no matter what kind of help you need, or the person you need it form, just say, sincerely and respectfully, “Can you help me?”
I promise that you will get help. And in the procedure you will show vulnerability, respect and eagerness to listen – which, incidentally, are all the qualities of a great leader.
And are all qualities of a great friend.
We all make mistakes, so we all have things we need to apologize for: words, actions or exceptions, failing to step up, step in and show support…
Say that you are sorry.
But never follow an apology from liability like “But I was really mad, because …” or “But I think you were …” or any other statement, anyway places even the smallest blame back on the other person.
Say “I’m sorry”, say why you’re sorry, and take all the blame. No less. No more.
Then you both get to make the freshest of fresh starts.
“Can you show me?”
Advice is temporary, knowledge is forever. Knowing what to do helps, but knowing how or why to do it means everything.
When you ask to be educated or made known, numerous things happen: You absolutely show that you respect the person who is giving the advice; you show that you believe his or her experience, skill, and insight; and you get to better evaluate the value of the advice.
Do not ask for efforts. Ask to be educated, trained or shown.
Then you both win.
“Let me give you a hand”
Many people perceive as a sign of weakness to ask for help. So, many people hesitate to ask for help.
But everybody needs help.
Just do not say, “Is there something I can help with?” Most people will give you responsive version “No, I’m just looking for” reply to sales clerks and say, “No, I’m all right.”
Be definite. Find something you can help with. Say “I have got couple of minutes. Can I help you finish that?” Offer in a way that feels shared, not demeaning or unreasonable. Model the behavior you want your employees to display.
Then actually roll up your sleeves and help.
“I love you”
No, don’t say when you are at work, but everywhere you mean it and every time you feel it.
Sometimes the best thing to say is nothing. If you are upset, annoyed or frustrated. You may think uttering will make you feel better, but it never does.
This is especially important when employees are concerned. Results come and go, but feelings are everlastingly. Criticizing an employee in a group and it seems like he finally got over it, but inside, he never will.
Before you speak, take time to consider that how employees will think and feel than assess whether decision makes objective sense. You can easily recover from the mistake made due to incorrect data or wrong projections.
You will never recover from the damage you wreak on an employee’s self-respect or confidence.
Stay mum until you know exactly what to say and exactly what impact your words will have.
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